Believing in Luck
by Digitalis02
Summary: Nikola is forced to believe in something he never did before. Another 'Lucky' themed-fic ;p


Disclaimer: Owning nuffin'.

A/N: Another 'lucky'-themed fic that just hit me. Nobody ever said I couldn't write more than one! Established relationship! :D Thanks for reading!

* * *

Believing in Luck

He crouched lightly on the ground, sadness in his eyes, as he read the name on the stone. Nikola didn't know what drove him out here, to this spot. It was secluded, but well taken care of, and daisies sprouted serenely from tended plots. Daisies were the only flora present in this part of the Sanctuary garden, for it had been her favorite flower.

Nikola sighed, the sadness clouding his eyes even more. Gently, he laid a single daisy on the ground in front of the stone, joining the few that others in the Sanctuary had left.

"You should be here," he said quietly.

***

Nikola Tesla did not believe in luck. He believed in being prepared and being smarter in any situation. With those two things, it was simply illogical to be caught flat-footed or taken by surprise. With those two things, the situation would always end in his favor. This was simple logic.

His body shook. His hands fisted, white-knuckled, and his breath came in fast, shallow gulps of air. Nikola's face was ashen, twisted with pain. How had it come to this?

"Mr. Tesla? I need your permission to do this," the doctor dressed in scrubs asked quietly, but urgently. "If we don't do this, then we could lose them both."

"And if you do, I could still lose one or the other, or both," he snapped, feeling panic surge within, causing his body to tremble harder. Nikola turned away and scowled as he saw the children standing and staring anxiously at him.

Kate was desperately trying to play it cool, but her dark eyes flitted fretfully around the sterile hallway. Henry withdrew into himself, clutching at his arms, and squeezing his eyes shut as if trying to believe this was all just a horrific nightmare. Will was pale, but struggling for composure. He stepped forward. "Tesla..."

Blue-gray eyes flashed at him, daring him. A single word more was all he needed. The swirling emotions quivering just under Nikola's skin needed little to manifest into anger. Helen's fodder of a protege would be a tempting target to lash out against for this hopeless situation.

"Mr. Tesla, time is important. Your child and his mother need you right now." The doctor brought his attention back to her. "Do I have your permission to go ahead with the surgery?" Her eyes were sympathetic, but professional.

Nikola's logical beliefs failed him. His fingers dug into his palms as he clenched them tight, trying, and failing to repress the tears pooling into his eyes. He still remembered the day when Helen had taken his hand gently between hers and silently pressed it against her belly, her fearful blue eyes staring into his. That fear had vanished just as soon as Nikola had stopped choking on his wine in shock, and he had smothered her with kisses, pressing her against the wall, and murmuring how words utterly failed to describe how much he loved her.

From that day, Nikola had prepared. From baby-proofing the Sanctuary with precision that had others yelling at him, to methodically testing and comparing bought baby products that would put NASA screening to shame, and even suffering through graphic baby books in the name of research. Nikola had prepared. He had absorbed all the necessary information and could probably deliver a baby himself just as well as any doctor.

Today, Nikola's logical beliefs had shattered. Today, everything he'd learned had failed him.

Helen's frantic and pained scream of his name that morning had Nikola uncharacteristically running into their bedroom. At the sight of red blood on their crisp, white bedsheets, Nikola's heartbeat quickened and had only crescendoed into a pounding so loud that had his eardrums pulsing.

Nikola remembered his voice shaking, calling for an ambulance as Helen's hands clutched at her stomach carrying their nearly seven-month-old baby. Her pained cries and tightly- squeezed, shut eyes had him climbing onto the bed beside her, and asking frantically what was wrong. The pain had been so great that Helen could only cry. Her tortured screams seared themselves into his brain. It had been that, more than the sight of blood, that had scared Nikola. He had bellowed for help, snapping out orders to those that had come running.

It was a placental abruption, an uncommon and serious pregnancy complication, the doctor had explained to a pacing, tense Nikola in what seemed like an eternity later. The placenta had separated away from the uterus – it was this that was causing Helen's severe bleeding. The baby was being deprived of oxygen and nutrients. And the two people making up Nikola's whole world were in extreme pain. Both mother and baby were suffering.

Knowing this tore at Nikola. Never had he felt so damn useless!

It would have to be a premature birth, requiring immediate medical attention. The doctors words barely filtered past the onslaught of panic and fear rising inside Nikola. They would have to do an immediate C-section, for left untreated the mother and baby would continue to be in jeopardy.

Even afterward, the doctor had sugar-coated nothing, laying out the facts. The even ifs, could, would, might...Inside, Nikola shook. His baby, their baby, the life he and Helen had created could be stillborn. And if doctors couldn't control the blood loss in Helen after the baby was born, more risky surgery would be needed.

Nikola could lose Helen. Nikola could lose their baby. Nikola could lose them both.

His genius couldn't save them. Nature could care less how high Nikola's IQ was. His preparedness couldn't save them either. Nikola was lost, and the despair of the situation was threatening to drown him.

"Do it." His voice was raw, though Nikola hadn't uttered more than six sentences since they arrived at the hospital.

The doctor looked like she hated her job at that moment. "And if it comes down to a choice, Mr. Tesla?"

Every single word felt like an invisible blow to the man who wore arrogant confidence like a second skin. Nikola felt weak, as if being shaken to the core by these unwelcome events was not enough, it seemed like life was trying to push him into completely breaking. How could he choose? How could someone ask him that? How could life force him to make a decision that no one should make? Nikola knew what Helen would say if she weren't lying, helpless and in pain, on a hospital bed. But could he live without Helen? Nikola had loved her for so long.

"Helen," he said in a strained voice, choking on the monstrous lump swelling in his throat as he made his decision. Nikola kept his head down and hands clenched. "Helen. If..." He couldn't bring himself to say anymore.

"We'll save them, Mr. Tesla." The doctor's words before she disappeared sounded hollow.

His agitation and terror caught him in a cold embrace and Nikola paid no attention to anything or anyone, save for the tremors racking his insides. He staggered slightly back, and landed on a hard, plastic, unforgiving chair.

Nikola gripped his head, in a failing attempt to quell the chaotic emotions crowding every pore and nerve of his body. He felt like he was at his breaking point.

And there he sat, with burning weary eyes, hands pressed together as if in prayer, and Nikola waited.

Waited and hoped in something he never before believed in. Nikola hoped for luck to be on his side.

The coming night and the next few months would near break him.

***

Shaking out of his reverie somewhat, Nikola slowly rose to his feet and walked backwards to the metal bench thoughtfully set up across from the glossy headstone. Sitting down, Nikola repeated, "You should be here. It's not fair."

He sighed and closed his eyes. Life and nature had shown Nikola that being smarter and being prepared couldn't always save you, or the ones you loved. It was a terrifying lesson to learn.

A slap to his face brought Nikola fully to the present and he opened his eyes. There was no use dwelling in the past, especially when that slap was followed by a toddler's giggle. A hand with the tiniest fingers he'd ever seen patted his face gently.

"Uh-oh," Nikola's new wife crouched down behind the giggling toddler, fascinated with touching Nikola's face. "It looks like daddy's busy thinking too hard again." Her happy face was smiling. "I guess we'll just have to play without him."

Grinning, shaking off the last of his gloomy thoughts, Nikola lifted his son up into his lap. "Nonsense," he retorted playfully. "Dimitri knows I make animal sounds better than you." A tug on his suit jacket caused him to focus on his son, who was threatening to pull the buttons off with enthusiasm. Nikola took Dimtri's tiny hand away and stood, clutching his son tightly to him. He marveled at the sudden urge to just squeeze his son tightly and never let him go. Nikola had thought it wasn't possible to love anyone as much as he loved Helen, but their little son was proving him wrong. "Did you have a nice nap, Dimitri?"

His son, with baby-fine brown hair, looked up, recognizing his name. He smiled happily at his father, reaching up to touch his face and patting Nikola's chin. His eyes, just like Nikola's, sparkled. And Nikola felt something burst inside him as he looked upon his son. _His son_.

Helen stood with him and rubbed a finger across Dimitri's baby-soft cheek as his curious blue-gray eyes took in everything from this new height. "What were you thinking about?"

Nikola looked at her beautiful face, remembering when it was awash with pain and his heart lurched. Never again did he want to see that. "Just thinking about how lucky I am."

Helen gave him a confused look, absently straightening out Dimitri's khaki pants. "I thought you didn't believe in luck." She ran a hand down his back. "Being smarter and more prepared - wasn't that what you thought?"

With her blue eyes staring up at him and feeling Dimitri's warm, slightly chubby body squirming in his arms, Nikola just shook his head. Lowering his face, his lips sought Helen's, his new wife, and gave her a slow, loving kiss. Their lips gliding smoothly against each other's that warmed their insides.

A sudden movement had them separating and looking at their son, who had undoubtedly gotten tired of being in his daddy's arms and had tried to launch himself over to a blanket his mommy had set up and scattered his toys on.

"Dimitri," Helen scolded as their son continued to wriggle his hardest. Nikola merely smiled and tightened his grip, nuzzling his son's cheek. He smelled uniquely of baby powder and new clothes with a tinge of Helen's light perfume. As Dimitri began to whine, Nikola took pity and set him gently down on his tiny sneaker-ed feet, watching him run full-pelt to the blanket nearby, having too much energy to simply walk.

Helen's fingers fidgeted lightly as she watched Dimitri play; he was small for his age, the result of his premature birth, but he seemed to be enjoying opening and closing a small toy and then smacking it on the ground. His small chubby face filled with joy.

Nikola brought her back with a nuzzle to her neck that instantly had her eyes drooping. They opened again as Helen caught sight of the headstone. "Ashley..." Her fingers found his hand to clutch. She spied the fresh daisy. "She would have loved Dimitri so much."

The sadness poked at Nikola as he once more gazed upon the stone of who would have been his step-daughter. He hadn't really known her, but any person who had come from Helen, Nikola imagined would be special. "She would have," he agreed. It had been the sight of Helen watching their son play with a few of Ashley's old toys that had driven him out here, Nikola remembered. The slight shadows in Helen's eyes. The birth of their child caused Helen pain to remember the loss of her first child. Even now, a picture of Ashley Magnus smiling brightly sat in a picture frame in Dimitri's room, watching over her baby brother.

Helen took a breath to compose herself, pulling herself out of Nikola's arms and over to the carefully-tended headstone. Kissing her hand, Helen crouched and pressed it against the stone. "I love you always, Ashley."

A brightly-colored rattle flew in her direction, landing a few feet away, courtesy of Dimitri. Helen smiled. "And your brother loves you very much too." She got to her feet.

Nikola watched her go, pick up the toy, and settle onto the blanket with their son. His insides swelled at the sight of the two most important people in his life, knowing he would do anything to keep them from harm. That day, just over a year and a half ago, he hadn't been able to do that, instead forced to believe in something he didn't. Nikola had been lucky - Helen and Dimitri had survived and shown no lasting symptoms.

Placing his hands in his pockets, Nikola strode over to his family, waiting under the sunshine. He now believed in being smarter, in being prepared, and trusting in luck, because right now, Nikola knew he was the luckiest man alive.


End file.
